The List: The worst covers of all time
Posted Fri 3 Jul 2009 2:30PM NZST by The Eclectic in The Eclectic
Cover versions have provided some of the very best musical highlights - think Joe Cocker's 'With A Little Help (From My Friends)' and Jimi Hendrix's 'All Along The Watchtower' - but they've also provided more than their fair share of nausea-inducing warblings.
We dealt with my favourite ones a few weeks ago, but today it's time to sniff out those versions of songs we hold dearly and which should be assigned to the infamous Room 101.
10. Stairway to Heaven - Rolf Harris
I'm not immune to the charms of cheeky Aussie Rolf Harris - I grew up watching 'Rolf Harris' Cartoon Time' on television. But my fondness was stretched to the limit with his wobble-board laden cover of Led Zeppelin classic 'Stairway To Heaven'. Can you tell what it is yet? Yeah, Rolf I can. It's bollocks.
9. American Pie - Madonna
Don McLean's tribute to legendary bopper Buddy Holly is a classic which will be listened to 100 years from now. So what exactly did Ms Ciccone think she was doing when she recorded her insipid, emotionless version? Apparently McLean described the cover as a gift from a goddess, and that her version was "mystical and sensual". Nah mate, the day it reached number one was truly the day music died.
8. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Paul Young
I quite liked Paul Young when I was a youngster - his voice was pretty good and I still enjoy listening to 'Love of the Common People'. He never again hit the heady heights of the early 1980s - and I like to think that's partly due to his decision to cover Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'. Sacrilege!
7. Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
Some bands should never have the indignity of being covered by inferior musicians and Pink Floyd comes into that category. This hideous version of Floyd classic 'Comfortably Numb' is so ear-splittingly awful that I had to turn it off after only 45 seconds. It says more about those higher up that this is only number seven.
6. Unchained Melody - Robson & Jerome
The talentless duo - more famed for their acting ability than their singing - murdered the Alex North/Hy Zaret penned 'Unchained Melody', probably most famously covered by the Righteous Brothers. When you hear someone start to sing and start laughing it's never going to be a classic. And they appear to be taking themselves seriously too.
5. Walk This Way - Girls Aloud and Sugababes
This song was recorded for UK charity Comic Relief. Well it worked on this side of the world because I haven't stopped laughing since I heard it. My vocabulary simply doesn't have the words to describe my hatred of this version of Aerosmith's classic rock song. Uggh. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
4. Where The Streets Have No Name - Pet Shop Boys
Okay, I admit it - I'm a fan of U2 and I couldn't give a stuff about Bono using his power to proselytise. But I don't mind cover versions of U2 songs in general - it's this specific one I hate. I have no idea what Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe were thinking about when they recorded it - especially as their own songs could be damned good. Forget 'Where the Streets' and check out 'Left To My Own Devices' instead.
3. Fairytale of New York - Ronan Keating
Some songs are just untouchable - and my favourite song of all time falls into that category. The classic Pogues/Kirsty MacColl tale of Christmas with the undesirables in New York lost everything that made it good when Ronan Keating covered it. Maire Brenna of Clannad has a stunning voice but even she couldn't save this turgid pap. And they even had the gaul to change the lyrics. Let's hope Ronan accidentally bumps into Shane McGowan in the pub after Shane's downed a pint of Martini or two.
2. You Shook Me All Night Long - Celine Dion and Anastacia
Save me from my cover hell! If it's not bad enough she actually dared to cover AC/DCs classic with her headache-inducing voice, Celine Dion actually mimicked Angus Young's classic guitar hop. I'm not a violent man, but sometimes I'm driven to the brink. And Anastacia should feel equally ashamed. Going down on the Titanic is too good for this piece of crap.
1. Under the Bridge - All Saints
Not only do they change the classic riff and decimate the lyrics but they rip the soul from this Chili Peppers hit. Gone is the desolation of life, and dealing with the destruction of drugs and in its place is the hyped up pop of a band so bad I had to listen to the original 100 times to make me forget it. All Saints should be forever condemned for having the sheer gaul to sing the song and none of them should be allowed in a recording studio again as punishment. Truly the worst cover version of all time.
Now I suspect you're feeling just a little bit dirty having listened to some of the garbage above.
I tried to share the cover-version hate around, which is why Irish boy bands are only represented by Ronan Keating - otherwise the whole top 10 could have been Boyzone/Westlife powder puff pop garbage.
So what do you think the worst cover version is? Are there any on my list that you actually like?
Spill the beans...
We dealt with my favourite ones a few weeks ago, but today it's time to sniff out those versions of songs we hold dearly and which should be assigned to the infamous Room 101.
10. Stairway to Heaven - Rolf Harris
I'm not immune to the charms of cheeky Aussie Rolf Harris - I grew up watching 'Rolf Harris' Cartoon Time' on television. But my fondness was stretched to the limit with his wobble-board laden cover of Led Zeppelin classic 'Stairway To Heaven'. Can you tell what it is yet? Yeah, Rolf I can. It's bollocks.
9. American Pie - Madonna
Don McLean's tribute to legendary bopper Buddy Holly is a classic which will be listened to 100 years from now. So what exactly did Ms Ciccone think she was doing when she recorded her insipid, emotionless version? Apparently McLean described the cover as a gift from a goddess, and that her version was "mystical and sensual". Nah mate, the day it reached number one was truly the day music died.
8. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Paul Young
I quite liked Paul Young when I was a youngster - his voice was pretty good and I still enjoy listening to 'Love of the Common People'. He never again hit the heady heights of the early 1980s - and I like to think that's partly due to his decision to cover Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'. Sacrilege!
7. Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters
Some bands should never have the indignity of being covered by inferior musicians and Pink Floyd comes into that category. This hideous version of Floyd classic 'Comfortably Numb' is so ear-splittingly awful that I had to turn it off after only 45 seconds. It says more about those higher up that this is only number seven.
6. Unchained Melody - Robson & Jerome
The talentless duo - more famed for their acting ability than their singing - murdered the Alex North/Hy Zaret penned 'Unchained Melody', probably most famously covered by the Righteous Brothers. When you hear someone start to sing and start laughing it's never going to be a classic. And they appear to be taking themselves seriously too.
5. Walk This Way - Girls Aloud and Sugababes
This song was recorded for UK charity Comic Relief. Well it worked on this side of the world because I haven't stopped laughing since I heard it. My vocabulary simply doesn't have the words to describe my hatred of this version of Aerosmith's classic rock song. Uggh. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
4. Where The Streets Have No Name - Pet Shop Boys
Okay, I admit it - I'm a fan of U2 and I couldn't give a stuff about Bono using his power to proselytise. But I don't mind cover versions of U2 songs in general - it's this specific one I hate. I have no idea what Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe were thinking about when they recorded it - especially as their own songs could be damned good. Forget 'Where the Streets' and check out 'Left To My Own Devices' instead.
3. Fairytale of New York - Ronan Keating
Some songs are just untouchable - and my favourite song of all time falls into that category. The classic Pogues/Kirsty MacColl tale of Christmas with the undesirables in New York lost everything that made it good when Ronan Keating covered it. Maire Brenna of Clannad has a stunning voice but even she couldn't save this turgid pap. And they even had the gaul to change the lyrics. Let's hope Ronan accidentally bumps into Shane McGowan in the pub after Shane's downed a pint of Martini or two.
2. You Shook Me All Night Long - Celine Dion and Anastacia
Save me from my cover hell! If it's not bad enough she actually dared to cover AC/DCs classic with her headache-inducing voice, Celine Dion actually mimicked Angus Young's classic guitar hop. I'm not a violent man, but sometimes I'm driven to the brink. And Anastacia should feel equally ashamed. Going down on the Titanic is too good for this piece of crap.
1. Under the Bridge - All Saints
Not only do they change the classic riff and decimate the lyrics but they rip the soul from this Chili Peppers hit. Gone is the desolation of life, and dealing with the destruction of drugs and in its place is the hyped up pop of a band so bad I had to listen to the original 100 times to make me forget it. All Saints should be forever condemned for having the sheer gaul to sing the song and none of them should be allowed in a recording studio again as punishment. Truly the worst cover version of all time.
Now I suspect you're feeling just a little bit dirty having listened to some of the garbage above.
I tried to share the cover-version hate around, which is why Irish boy bands are only represented by Ronan Keating - otherwise the whole top 10 could have been Boyzone/Westlife powder puff pop garbage.
So what do you think the worst cover version is? Are there any on my list that you actually like?
Spill the beans...
Heard the AC/DC (Celine Dion) cover before, it is absolute [profane]e