10 Iconic Items of Rock N Roll Clothing
The media's a funny beast. Here in New Zealand they've called a brief recess in the recession to turn their lenses back to David Bain, the once-convicted, once-pardoned accused murderer and his re-trial. Of course anyone who remembers the case won't be surprised to see the old photos of Bainsy attending court in his iconic home-knit sweaters, which have now become more popular than the actual events that landed him wool-clad on the court steps.
A nation known for out entrepreneurial spirit, somebody's even started marketing imitation t-shirts based on the sweaters, complete with the phrase "The only crime he committed was fashion"
Here's a list of 10 iconic items of clothing from the world of rock n' roll - some provided a welcome distraction from their heinous crimes against music, others, the corduroy cherry on the top of an already legendary star.
- Brian Johnson's Flatcap
A lot of people assume the Acca Dacca frontman's porkpie is homage to his English roots, but the story behind Johnson's flatcap is a lot less glamorous. Apparently old Brian sweats like a workhorse on stage and would suffer from gallons of sweat in his eyes courtesy of his curly locks above. One day before going on stage Brian's brother decided to rectify the situation by giving Brian the hat right off his own head. Brian jammed on the cap, it worked a treat and Brian's brother never got the hat back. Johnson's been stancing and gripping onto that thing ever since. Many believe it is the key to his puma-like growl.
- Bono's Platforms
A quick comment on Bono's shades - they're only there to distract you from his feet. The U2 frontman is not blessed height-wise, he's known to often wear subtly platformed boots to provide the necessary ‘elevation'. That being said, if I could be in the greatest band in the world I'd be more than happy to be chopped off at the knees. It ain't no big deal. Coping with it ain't no tall order.
If you want to know exactly how short he is, you should go to http://www.celebheights.com/ which is as hilariously redundant as it sounds. Check out http://www.celebheights.com/s/-Bono-433.html to hear them argue about Bono's height, the height of his band mates and his wife as well as some stunning repartee on his choice of sandal. Seriously though.
- Split Enz's Suits
Ah yes, the nation's pride. A lot of people underestimate the brilliance of the Enz. The brainchild of Tim Finn and his cohorts, Split Enz's carnival sound was so out-of-this world that the ordinary denims and flares of the day would have been woefully inadequate. It was early into their career that the band made the decision to transform their live shows into complete experiences - a twisted blend of circus and gothic; from creating onstage beaches with truckloads of real sand, to their decision to only tour theatres, to their bizarre Eraserhead coiffure and dress.
- Slash's Top Hat
Not many people know this, but the real reason Slash wears a top hat perched on his Wersel Gummage fro is to hide the conspiracy. And the conspiracy is this: Slash has several decoy wig-and-top hat combos tucked away on the road and whenever he feels like a night off, he calls in Joe Satriani, who dons the getup, leaving everyone completely in the dark. It's been predicted that as many as half of Slash's public appearances with Guns N' Roses were actually Satriani in costume.
- Buckethead's Bucket
While we're on the subject of onetime Gunner's Guitarists, can we just talk about this guy. I mean, capital WTF. A KFC bucket, on his head. Proclaiming his unique cardboard-coned visage as a one-man crusade to "alert the world to the ongoing chicken holocaust in fast-food joints around the globe", Buckethead only serves to promote widespread subconscious cravings for the secret recipe. I mean, I've dropped fast food for lent, but when Easter comes round, I am all over the Colonel like popcorn on chicken. Also, does he wash those things before popping them on? Cos if he does, he's really not that hardcore. I mean, if he played for Slipknot, they'd make him keep the grease, maybe even a half a wing in there, at all times.
- Springsteen's Jeans
The Boss did more for denim and sleeveless shirts than any marketing team ever could. He was the everyman's hero, the spokesman for the working class. All across middle-class America, blue-collar fans rushed out to their local jeans outlet to pick up some stonewashed 501's so they could look just like Bruce. You just don't see that kind of devotion when it comes to Prince. That being said, crushed velvet's not so accessible these days. Only to Pimps. And that's not doing Prince any favours really.
- Edge's Beanie
Dude's been wearing that thing for the last 10 years straight. It's hard to even predict what's going on underneath. I mean, sure he's obviously a little thin up there but for all we know there could be something more sinister going on. We had this caretaker at school once who had a huge perma-beard. My friends told me it was to hide a hideous purple birthmark that covered his entire jaw. But who's to know?
- The Guy From Patea Maori Club's White Glove
Considering that this is a New Zealand music blog, I thought I'd sidestep the obvious reference to Michal Jackson's jewel encrusted hand wear and offer a more local spin. Any true blue kiwi will remember 1892, the year when Maori Dancehall hit the charts with "Poi E" by the Patea Maori Club. This jam took the country by storm, blitzing the charts and starting a new cultural dance sensation, spurred on, I imagine, by the random white-glove guy who appears unannounced throughout the clip, doing his best MJ imitations. In another life, it would have come off as pretty spooky, especially the bit where they cut to the roof of the building and there he is, moonwalking along the beam. Doesn't he know how dangerous that is?
- Kanye's Hypno-Shades
Look into my eyes. Focus on the tiny plastic slats of my designer shades, you are getting sleepy. You are completely devoted to me. My disastrous foray into the world of autotuned singing has not tainted your view of me.
- Robert Plant's Pants
Oh. So that's where Saddam hid his missiles.
